Afraid of Heights

     I have often heard people admit to being afraid to fail however, I have never heard anyone admit to being afraid to succeed. Have you? Everyone sets the highest life goals for themselves, everyone has dreams of becoming the best at something, everyone plans to be great, powerful, influential, and all around successful. No one plans to fail, right? Wrong?

     There are some who say they want to be successful, they can rattle off elaborate plans about how prosperous they see themselves in their future, but the truth is, on the inside there is a whole other conversation taking place. This inner dialogue of self-doubt says things like “you don't deserve to be successful, it's too hard, it will take too long, If you do by chance become successful you will never maintain that success, and who are you to be great?”

    Some people plan to fail because they really don't believe they have what it takes to reach their fullest potential. They don't believe that they are worthy or strong enough to reach the finish line. In some cases, they may reach the finish line and after putting in all the hard work it took to get there they intentionally sabotage themselves. People sabotage themselves because they realize they are afraid of heights. They are afraid of being on top because they are so used to being on the bottom. Some people are uncomfortable being in the place they once claimed to deserve. This is why we must be brutally honest with ourselves, we must ask ourselves the hard questions and have the audacity to respond with honest answers. If you are afraid of heights, self sabotage is not the answer. Remember, exposure and immersion aids In overcoming the fear of anything.

Capes of shame

     We all love super hero's don't we? Their powerful, popular, courageous and they have no fear. The greatest thing I love about super hero's is that they wear the coolest costumes. I love their capes and masks. I especially love how most movies provide a backstory which allows us to get to know the actual person behind the costume. We know that Clark Kent is a foster child from Krypton who has no real connections with his real family. We know that Bruce Wayne witnessed the death of his parents and grew up a billionaire with revenge on his mind, and we know that Ororo Munroe (Storm) was orphaned at six-years old due to both her parents dieing in an aircraft attack. She was buried under tons of rubble which left her violently claustrophobic. Without the backstory, us movie goer's would only get to enjoy the super hero and not the person. I believe much of our love for super hero's comes from the fact that we can relate to them as people and deep inside we wish that we could activate our super powers and leave the real us behind.

     We all have flaws and if asked “what is one thing you would change about yourself if you had the option?” I am sure we all have something on reserve. As humans we make it our business to hide our secrets, our quirkiness, and our honest feelings because we are ashamed of them. We never look at super hero's as weak, sad, or unable to deal with their issues; we only see their strength and that is why we love them. We never see them in a state of vulnerability. But what about us? We constantly beat ourselves up because our imperfections do not seem to measure up to the strengths of others; so what do we do? We make sure we are never seen without our capes.

     Yes, we all wear them. Our capes of shame hides our imperfections and allows us to appear as super hero's to the world. So our fellow humans perceive us to be strong; never broken by heartache. Powerful; always able to overcome any problem no matter how large or impossible; and courageous; always willing to do the hard work when everyone else is afraid. But deep down inside, our fellow humans cannot see that we hurt, we cry, we are confused, we have a low self-worth, and we often are afraid. When asked “how are you doing” We perk up and force a smile to our faces and say.... “All is well” We do not eagerly reveal ourselves to the world in fear of being judged or rejected. So what do we do? We put on our super hero capes to hide our true selves from the world and continue to bear our heavy loads.

     What we do not realize is that who we really are is what makes us special. We are each different from the next and we all have our own identities, gifts, and talents. We are only strong if we have the ability to love who we are holistically. We are only powerful if we are able to be vulnerable and admit that we need help, and we are only courageous when we decide to understand who we are and eagerly present our true selves to the world without shame. We must learn to love everything about ourselves, good and bad. We must learn that our super hero capes can only cover our flaws, it cannot erase them.

    So, today I challenge you to untie the capes and be true to yourself. Do not allow shame to over power the greatness in you. Feed your strengths and stop comparing your weaknesses. Don't present the hero, present the back story. When you share who you are without reservations, the real super hero will emerge.

It took more courage for Peter Parker to be himself than it did for him to be Spiderman.